Tanishka - Week #9 - The Power of Absence
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
I have heard that saying multiple times in my life, whether it be posters in a department store or instagram advertisements. However, I have never felt the influence of absence in my life, until my mother left for India. Most say that quality time is the best way to get to know someone, a love language that many people follow. Despite all of this, I believe that the presence of absence is more powerful than the presence itself sometimes.
Human nature constitutes instant gratification; We always want what we can’t or don’t have. Despite whatever amount of gratitude we display, the heart always wants more, there is always another goal to reach. The real challenge, however, is when what we already have is gone. That is when the heart grows fonder.
My mother and I have always been close, as she has always supported me and helped me through rough periods in my life. When she was gone for 3 weeks, I thought to myself, “What was the worst that could happen? It’s only 3 weeks.”
I was completely wrong in many senses. Not having anyone to talk to during finals and the loads of work was frustrating, and although I could talk to her in the wee hours of the night, it was her presence that struck me most. Her warm hugs, her smile when I come home from school, is what I missed the most.
Although it was just a few weeks, I realized how much I miss somebody when they are gone, no matter the amount of temporary annoyance or frustration I feel for them in the moment. Absence can have its own presence, even more significant than presence as well. With this experience, I have learned the importance of being there for everyone, and to foster relationships with others while they are still here.
Hi Tanishka. I have heard of something similar, like how people desire what they do not have. Like you said, when people have something, they do not truly appreciate it until it is taken away from them. The psychology of this always seemed depressing to me, as it often leads to people being depressed over what they do not have. But back to your point, I like how you phrased your argument. It is not the absence of someone that is important, it is the appreciation of the time spent with someone that is important. And often, that requires them to be gone. But I try my best to not fall into the trap of taking things for granted, I do my best to appreciate everything they do for me, even the minor ones. While I do not always say it out loud, I keep my appreciation and happy moments with them in my mind. That way, I do not get spoiled by getting used to the attention, and regret it down the line. Also, the psychology of this always interested me. Why are we like this? Why does not having something make us desire it more? Why can we not equally want it when we have it and do not have it? But overall, this was a very heartwarming blog.
ReplyDeleteHi Tanishka! I could completely relate to your blog topic this week. This past summer, my mother traveled to Australia for two weeks to meet her best friend. As I dropped her off to the airport, I realized that I was saying goodbye to my best friend for the next two weeks. Who was I going to do spontaneous coffee dates with? Who was going to listen to me when I was feeling down? And FaceTime is just not the same thing. Those next two weeks were unproductive at best and I felt so odd and uncertain as to why I felt so unmotivated. I know that sounds so dramatic considering that she was gone for two weeks and I had a strong support system at home to turn to, but like you said, “we always want what we can’t have.” It was a stark reminder to practice gratitude for all of the little things in life and appreciate them as they come because I never want to feel regretful of not enjoying the present moment when the time has already passed to do so. Attachment works in funny ways and when the things we get used to leave our lives for a little while, their absence weighs on us, invoking confusion and a loss of direction. Understanding why is so important and I loved how your blog addressed the power in absence. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Tanishka, your blog is so interesting and accurate! One of the biggest absences of my life currently is my sister, who left for college in September of last year. Prior to her leaving for college, we used to get into superficial arguments all the time. However, her absence for so many months has reminded me of what a massive role she has in my life as a friend and mentor. Nowadays, when she visits home, we no longer get into dumb arguments. True to what you say, absence absolutely reminds ourselves to be grateful for what we have. Your blog serves as an amazing reminder that we should cherish the time we have with our loved ones and be thankful for every opportunity to interact with them. Thank you for writing such an insightful and thought-provoking blog!
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