James Week 9: Powerless
I’m mainly writing this post to destress and clear my head. That being said, I’m going to be very open and vulnerable with you all.
My dad just had a medical emergency. He started showing symptoms on New Year’s Eve, and his condition rapidly deteriorated from there. He was admitted to the ER on the 8th. After being evaluated, he was transferred to another medical facility, where he is being treated.
Needless to say, I have a lot on my plate. I’m not alone; my mom and sister are working together with me to get through this. But I still feel overwhelmed.
Those of you who know me know that my dad is a professional magician, as am I. Since he is incapacitated, I must take over his events. I can handle most of them. I’ll probably have to cancel others. I don’t have the time next month to fly out to Las Vegas or New York. My mom and I must also start booking more events, as my family needs to make sure we have a steady income stream until he recovers. If he recovers. God, I really hope he does.
I also need to take care of myself. My family and I have been working to reorganize ourselves, and in that time, we have neglected our physical and mental health. Granted, my sleep schedule was already a mess before this happened, but it somehow managed to get worse. I need to get back on a regular sleep schedule.
 |
| How an Out-of-Pocket Limit Works. Source: Medicare |
Did I mention that it is also tax season? The tax year just finished, and now my family has to sort through our finances so we can file our tax return by April 15th. Thankfully, I’ve seen my family’s tax returns before. I have a general idea of how to read a tax return. My mom has gone through this process. But she always had my dad’s help. Can I really fill in his shoes?
I really don’t know.
I feel powerless now.
Update: He is out of the medical facility! He is back home! Do we still have stuff to deal with? Yes! Do I have to do as much of it? Thank heavens no! How is my sleep schedule now? Still terrible! I shall make sure to get as much rest as I can over this 3-day weekend and to finish the work I've missed since then.
ReplyDeleteI'm in pain now but this is going to make a great essay when I'm filling out college applications.
Hi James! When I read the title “Powerless,” I did not predict that this is what it would be about. First and foremost, I am sorry about your situation and congratulate you on handling it. Also, I am glad your dad is now better and discharged from the hospital. I often complain about the amount of work we get from AP English Language, but great job on trying to handle that alongside trying to take over some of his events. Also side note, it is so cool that both you and your dad are magicians. Furthermore, being talented enough to work as one at such a young age is also really impressive. I could talk a lot more on how sorry I am, and I would mean it, but let me just condense it. I really hope your father fully recovers. And I hope you can be relieved of some of the pressure of work, so that you could feel a bit less powerless. You are still a high school student, and having to work for the family while also being a student sounds really stressful. Also I totally understand how bad sleep deprivation can feel, and I hope you can fix it back to normal. Overall, I hope you get to take control of your situation, and manage to steer it back onto the track of a student who is just worried about their grades and their next test.
ReplyDeleteHey James, I am so sorry about your situation! The experience you have gone through seems very scary, and I am glad that your dad is back home now and doing better. You are such a strong individual to take over your dad’s work events, help your mom take care of finances, take care of your family, AND focus on school assignments all at the same time. I pray for your family, and for your dad to make a full recovery. In efforts to handle your family and focus on school, please remember to take care of yourself as well! Your own physical and mental health matters just as much as anyone else’s. In the meantime, just remember that you are resilient and WILL get through this.
ReplyDeleteHi James! I want to express how sorry I am that you were in such an uncertain situation and I am so glad to hear that your father is out of the ER. Balancing your school work on top of all of the responsibilities you had to assume following your dad’s hospitalization must have been overwhelmingly stressful. I can say one thing with confidence and that is that you are always going to find a way to figure it out. In all the time I have spent with you during the play and even during our classes together, it makes me so proud to see all that you have accomplished through your dedication to everything you do and that is why I never want to see you doubt yourself. Even though my schedule is probably no where near as busy as yours, I understand how difficult it is to prioritize yourself especially during a period of magnified stress or emotion and it has taken me a long time to truly understand the importance of self-care. Keep reminding yourself to give yourself grace and that you are deserving of rest and know that we are always here for you.
ReplyDelete